Maybe I am cocky, some say over ambitious. "Oh Tosin it seems as if your head has managed to find itself up in the clouds again." In which I reply, "Wow well it seems as if your head has found its way up your butt." Not really, I am learning how to be kind to others, but if it had been me a year ago I would have said that.
Love is hard. No let me make a correction. It is hard to love people correctly. Not that I don't love people. God knows I do. I just struggle sometimes.
So I am rethinking my major. It is not a great ordeal as of now, but I am taking it into consideration. I still love Psychology, but I am finding I really like History and English a bit better. It is not even because of the teachers- I don't dislike them- but neither inspires me to become a Historian or English major-no offense. I think I still have time, but what is time. The year has just begun, but is now has only 330 something days left. We depend on time as if it depends on us. We put our faith in seconds. Seconds pass us in laughter. They mock us with, "You foolish people. Wait let me pass you. Stay there." Then while it continues to make its laps we just stay there frozen and stagnant. We peak then we wither. That is the fascination of time.
Now that that knowledge has been exposed a challenge is brought forth. Like a teacher who tests his students on the application of knowledge much rather than the regurgitation. Challenge, you ask? This precious time, day and night, sunrise sunset, sun moon, life death, use them. Use them in a way where on you deathbed your joys exceed regret. Your love tramples on your hatred. Your peace surpasses any calamity. This is my challenge to you. Will you accept it? Or will you like many other people shamefully decline out of fear and failure.
Failure. Each and every one of us in our own way. Yet, we are success. We evaluate and change ourselves. I fail. I succeed. I used to try and now I just do. I have learned if I just do and fail I know that I gave my entire being to something and it was because of my lack. Luckily where I lack He is abundant. My failures have been His success.
Liberal is the new norm. To be opened minded is cool now. Oddly I have found they are not that open-minded. I am conservative. Conservative beliefs match up with morals the most. But get into an argument with a liberal person and they won't want to hear about your opinions. Whatever.
I need to eat better. I have been exercising, but I was freaking out this week and did that stress eating thing. Cheese Its and Twix were the offender. Once I was anorexic. It was the longest two hours of my life. No, but really those girls are crazy. I could never go without food unless I was fasting.
People say I am abrasive. I say I have to be. I have literally been open. I let down my defenses in innocent hope of areciprocated actions. I was open. Then out of nowhere. They shot me. They literally had me open. The one part I never let anyone see, out of sheer embarrassment and they shot me. I tried so hard to be loving and loving. I let my life be held in people's hands. People have destroyed me. That is one of the reasons why I am learning to love like Jesus. People destroyed Him too, but He still loved them. It is just so hard for me to be kind and compassionate without either getting hurt or not being taken seriously. I know with God and in time I can, but I am abrasive for now, just to save myself.
With Deepest Posts,
Tosin
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
You Taste Like Caucasian
First off I have seen and skimmed this book probably four times at Borders or Barnes and Noble. Initially when I was going to write this blog I was going to take the easy way out of it and say that the entire book is making fun of white people, but after giving it thought, I truly believe there is overlooked theme of the book. What is this theme you ask? Acceptance and approval.
In recent years America has moved away from being a completely racist country-on every side-to one that just has stereotypes of people. Most often we hear of the pain and suffering black people endure from white people, but what about white people or Caucasian Americans-whatever you prefer. In the history of the world there was a sad time period when white people owned black people. Now it is sad that African Americans have held a grudge for so long, but they have. I feel a majority of the "things" listed are either a stigma to feel special in the white community or an action that is looking for acceptance in the black-or any minority-community.
Now I am going to prove this. I have looked at all the different items that can make a white person feel more important than another white person and the most truly-which I sorrowfully admit is # 101 which is White People Like Being Offended. To a certain extent I agree with them. When a person throws a racial slur at a white person. What can they really do? If they call me a "you know what" they get deemed as racist and can be charges with assault. But if a black person calls another black person a "you know what" it is okay. *LET IT BE KNOWN IF ANYONE CALLS ME THAT I WILL HURT YOU* So white people are constantly apologizing for offending a black person, but the worst is when a white person feels the need to apologize for their entire race. It is not that one person's job to bear the burden of a racist person. Black people are pretty racist-if not more-than white people. Then again I understand how they feel. McEachern High was a pretty diverse school and often times we would have substitute teachers. And I know I get extremely embarrassed when all the black students decided to act out. I would find myself waiting until after everyone left and apologizing to the substitute.
The one that most relates to the African Caucasian American dynamic is #14 Having Black Friends. I think this is hilarious because. If you are and Black and have more White friends you are probably not accepted in the African-American community because you are prissy or bourgeoisie or snotty or some other term giving to people who don’t live under stereotypes. Now if you are White and have more Black friends you are not that accepted in the White community. People assume you are of low class standard. Honestly I think it is all ridiculous. My friends are every color and every shade. I don’t make friends based on color. I make friends because of whom they are, but then again that is not what this blog is about.
Well that is my take on this book.
Posting Complete,
Tosin
In recent years America has moved away from being a completely racist country-on every side-to one that just has stereotypes of people. Most often we hear of the pain and suffering black people endure from white people, but what about white people or Caucasian Americans-whatever you prefer. In the history of the world there was a sad time period when white people owned black people. Now it is sad that African Americans have held a grudge for so long, but they have. I feel a majority of the "things" listed are either a stigma to feel special in the white community or an action that is looking for acceptance in the black-or any minority-community.
Now I am going to prove this. I have looked at all the different items that can make a white person feel more important than another white person and the most truly-which I sorrowfully admit is # 101 which is White People Like Being Offended. To a certain extent I agree with them. When a person throws a racial slur at a white person. What can they really do? If they call me a "you know what" they get deemed as racist and can be charges with assault. But if a black person calls another black person a "you know what" it is okay. *LET IT BE KNOWN IF ANYONE CALLS ME THAT I WILL HURT YOU* So white people are constantly apologizing for offending a black person, but the worst is when a white person feels the need to apologize for their entire race. It is not that one person's job to bear the burden of a racist person. Black people are pretty racist-if not more-than white people. Then again I understand how they feel. McEachern High was a pretty diverse school and often times we would have substitute teachers. And I know I get extremely embarrassed when all the black students decided to act out. I would find myself waiting until after everyone left and apologizing to the substitute.
The one that most relates to the African Caucasian American dynamic is #14 Having Black Friends. I think this is hilarious because. If you are and Black and have more White friends you are probably not accepted in the African-American community because you are prissy or bourgeoisie or snotty or some other term giving to people who don’t live under stereotypes. Now if you are White and have more Black friends you are not that accepted in the White community. People assume you are of low class standard. Honestly I think it is all ridiculous. My friends are every color and every shade. I don’t make friends based on color. I make friends because of whom they are, but then again that is not what this blog is about.
Well that is my take on this book.
Posting Complete,
Tosin
Monday, January 19, 2009
Facing America
At this point in time I am totally and completely over this "new beginning for America". For an entire year and a couple months America's entire focal point has been on the presidency with a brief intermission where everyone went to the recession. I am done with it.
Even the celebration of Martin Luther King Jr. Day was corrupted by people going on and on about the Inauguration tomorrow. There was not a single person that I heard today that did not find some way to tie President-Elect Obama or Michelle Obama into their speech. No one focused on what Reverend King did.
I find people's great joy in this election appalling and ridiculous. Foremost, I don't give a crap that Obama is black. What is so special about being black or white or Asian or Hispanic or even an Eskimo? Nothing that is what is special. Not to be gory, but if I skinned a hundred people at random and asked people to identify who was black and who was white no one would be able to tell the difference. So this entire black thing is dumb.
Second, all men of every race were given the right to vote on February 3, 1870 in accordance to the Amendments to the Constitution. Nearly a hundred years later in the 1960's the Civil Rights Movement happened. Now on January 20, 2009 America is swearing in a black president. Since the end of the 60's an African American person has had nine opportunities to run for president or vice president. I don't understand what the hype is all about-nor do I care for that fact. America shouldn't be proud of having a black president. It should be ashamed that it has taken this long to socially catch up with the world. When other countries have had a female president.
People say that my generation is a "YES, I CAN!" generation. I knew I could before this crap. In psychology, there is something called the mere exposure effect. It states that the more a person sees something the more they become drawn to it and like it. There has not been a day that went by that I did not see him in the news or see his smug mug on my yahoo homepage.
So if asked blatantly, “Do you believe that Obama is exposed on the media too much?” My short and sweet answer would be. YES! YES! and Hmmm…..YES!
Look, Honestly I do not hate President Obama there are things that he stands for that I disagree with, but I do not hate him. I hate how people have made him into this god. People are exalting him when he has not done anything for America yet. Then the same people who scream these praises to him will also be the first looking to impeach him. With this and to whomever reads this post just be in prayer for him. He will need it. There are foreign policy decisions that he needs to make quickly that will decide the fate of America.
Anyways, if this offended you at all then so be it. If not, then so be it. I wish everyone well.
Posting Off,
Tosin Akande
Even the celebration of Martin Luther King Jr. Day was corrupted by people going on and on about the Inauguration tomorrow. There was not a single person that I heard today that did not find some way to tie President-Elect Obama or Michelle Obama into their speech. No one focused on what Reverend King did.
I find people's great joy in this election appalling and ridiculous. Foremost, I don't give a crap that Obama is black. What is so special about being black or white or Asian or Hispanic or even an Eskimo? Nothing that is what is special. Not to be gory, but if I skinned a hundred people at random and asked people to identify who was black and who was white no one would be able to tell the difference. So this entire black thing is dumb.
Second, all men of every race were given the right to vote on February 3, 1870 in accordance to the Amendments to the Constitution. Nearly a hundred years later in the 1960's the Civil Rights Movement happened. Now on January 20, 2009 America is swearing in a black president. Since the end of the 60's an African American person has had nine opportunities to run for president or vice president. I don't understand what the hype is all about-nor do I care for that fact. America shouldn't be proud of having a black president. It should be ashamed that it has taken this long to socially catch up with the world. When other countries have had a female president.
People say that my generation is a "YES, I CAN!" generation. I knew I could before this crap. In psychology, there is something called the mere exposure effect. It states that the more a person sees something the more they become drawn to it and like it. There has not been a day that went by that I did not see him in the news or see his smug mug on my yahoo homepage.
So if asked blatantly, “Do you believe that Obama is exposed on the media too much?” My short and sweet answer would be. YES! YES! and Hmmm…..YES!
Look, Honestly I do not hate President Obama there are things that he stands for that I disagree with, but I do not hate him. I hate how people have made him into this god. People are exalting him when he has not done anything for America yet. Then the same people who scream these praises to him will also be the first looking to impeach him. With this and to whomever reads this post just be in prayer for him. He will need it. There are foreign policy decisions that he needs to make quickly that will decide the fate of America.
Anyways, if this offended you at all then so be it. If not, then so be it. I wish everyone well.
Posting Off,
Tosin Akande
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Vote for Me or Watch TV
Well no offence James, but that was a stupid question. I would definitely keep my right to vote. Owning a television is something that can be attained through working hard enough to get the money for it, but voting it is a privilege I earned last year when I turned eighteen and there truly is nothing worth giving that up.
Also I enjoy stating my views on the 2008 election-both presidential and senatorial. Honestly, if anyone would take the TV it would be a pretty shallow thing to do. It gives off the impression of being shallow and materialistic. What has a TV ever done for anyone? The only function it was made for was to entertain. Compare that to the purposes of Presidents, Senators, House Members and other voted on officials. All of them serve a purpose to America. The President to protect the nation, to serve as the face of the nation, to be the head of decision making, and so much more. The we have Senators and House Members who represent their constituencies. They are the voice of a state and people that live in the local areas.
Also not being able to discuss politics and government would be the entire worst. Though people say that my voice isn't heard as a voter, I truly believe it is. I have the ability to influence other voters. Influence does not come through beating hatred into the head of other voters, but by having civil and cordial discussion in which we both partake in discussing facts and bills and other pieces of legislation our government leaders would have passed. Having a role in the process of the selection of the people who run this is too valuable of a gift to give up for a television-especially when new technology will render it useless in five years.
Whelp, that is about it. If I keep on typing it would just be mindless crap to fill up the word quota.
Posts Away,
Tosin Akande
Also I enjoy stating my views on the 2008 election-both presidential and senatorial. Honestly, if anyone would take the TV it would be a pretty shallow thing to do. It gives off the impression of being shallow and materialistic. What has a TV ever done for anyone? The only function it was made for was to entertain. Compare that to the purposes of Presidents, Senators, House Members and other voted on officials. All of them serve a purpose to America. The President to protect the nation, to serve as the face of the nation, to be the head of decision making, and so much more. The we have Senators and House Members who represent their constituencies. They are the voice of a state and people that live in the local areas.
Also not being able to discuss politics and government would be the entire worst. Though people say that my voice isn't heard as a voter, I truly believe it is. I have the ability to influence other voters. Influence does not come through beating hatred into the head of other voters, but by having civil and cordial discussion in which we both partake in discussing facts and bills and other pieces of legislation our government leaders would have passed. Having a role in the process of the selection of the people who run this is too valuable of a gift to give up for a television-especially when new technology will render it useless in five years.
Whelp, that is about it. If I keep on typing it would just be mindless crap to fill up the word quota.
Posts Away,
Tosin Akande
Monday, January 12, 2009
A-Z
Jason Mraz is my favorite artist bar none. I first heard The Remedy when I was thirteen. It has always been a catchy tune, but last year I finally bought his first CD, Waiting on My Rocket to Come. I fell in love with it instantly. My love of the album isn't one that comes from the catchyness of the songs, but it comes from an understanding of what he is talking about. Similar to life, the songs go in an order that express intoxicating highs and dooming lows. The ablum also just has a lot of instrumental variety.
I love every single song on the CD, but there are three that stand out in my mind. The first song is Absolutely Zero. I am not an open person, but I have been stupid enough to open up to one person and was hurt. I know it sounds trivial because I am only eighteen, but I truly will only let people get so close to me before I am done. In fact the true sign of if I am close to you is if we 1) Talk on the phone 2) I cry in front of you 3)Hug you. But to get back to the point here are the lyrics to the song:
You. You were a friend. You were a friend of mine
I let you spend the night You see how it was my
fault. Of course it was mine. I'm too hard at
work. Have you ever heard of anything so absurd
ever in your life. I'm sorry for wasting your
time.
Who am I to say this situation isn't great? It's
my job to make the most of it Of course I didn't
know that it would happen to me. Not that easy.
Hey what's that you say? You're not blaming me for
anything that's great But I don't break that easy.
Does it fade away? So that's why I'm apologizing
now for telling you I thought that we could make
it I just don't get enough to believe that we've
both changed.
I can't truly explain how I feel when I hear this song. It reminds me of how stupid I am to let my emotions get ahead of me. I know and understand I am a decent person, but when someone you love make you feel so worthless you feel ashamed. So when he says, "I'm sorry for wasting your time." I just break down, because he made me feel like I was holding him back. I also am the type of person the moment someone says hurtful statement to me I can't forget it. I can't let it go. I will forgive him, but the words still linger in my mind.
The next song on Waiting for My Rocket to Come that I love is called, The Boy is Gone. I am only going to insert a small part of the lyrics for this song.
What will happen to a face in the crowd
When it finally gets too crowded
And what will happen to the origins of sound
After all the sounds have sounded
Well I hope, I never have to see that day
But by God, I know it's headed our way
So I better be happy now that the boy's gone home
The boy's gone home
It is hard to stand out. In the biggest of crowds to even the smallest of venues sometimes it is hard to recognize every face. It is easy to feel looked over and dejected. This song most importantly reminds me to look at people, to listen to what people say. The song tells me that the things I cherish will not always be there for me to enjoy.
Now to end on a happier note--for once. The song Too Much Food comforts me. It reminds me that I am okay as I am. Sometime I a douchebag. Other times I am sweet as apple pie. I just have to remember forget what people say and just be happy with the way that I am. It is my ultimate happy cheery song. When I feel down and out and inadequacies take control this song hits the spot!
You can say that I'm one curly fry
In the box of the regular
Messing with the flavor
Oh, the flavor that you savor
Saving me for last
But you better not eat me at all
Living in a fast food bag
Making friends with the ketchup and salt....
'Cause you're about to get cut and get cut down
It's all about the wordplay
All about the sound in the tone of my voice
You gotta let me make my choice alone before my food gets cold
Better shut up or get shot down
It's all about the know how all just a matter of taste
Stop telling me the way I gotta play now
Too much food on my plate
Later Posts,
Tosin
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